In this article we are going to talk about the How to become strong when someone hurts you emotionally? Life treats us with both ups and downs. There is no one who doesn’t have their own share of problems and issues. Not all people are our well-wishers. Not all people want us to be happy. Sometimes they do it intentionally but sometimes such circumstances stand that they end up hurting us. Whatever the situation might be, we end up getting hurt. We can get over the physical pain in some time but the emotional and mental suffering takes a lot of time to forget. In fact, we probably never really get over that pain; we just learn to live with it covering it up with all the joyful moments of our life.
How to become strong when someone hurts you emotionally?
There are many people who want what’s best for us. They think about our betterment and try their best to not hurt our feelings. But there are people who might be indifferent to us. They don’t care how we end up feeling and it is not their fault. Everyone cannot care about everyone. But as a result, we get hurt. At that point it doesn’t matter if it was intentional or not. But life goes on. We have to stand up when we fall and we have to do that on our own.
Yes, there are people who would walk on this path along with us but the hurt is in our hearts and we have to deal with it on our own. Now, not all people are the same and not all people have the same kinds of coping mechanisms. Everyone has a different way of dealing with things. So here are a few things that you can refer to and apply them according to your situation.
1. Identify the pain
For getting over pain, the first step you should take is identifying the pain. You cannot go on denying that you have been hurt. It won’t mean that you are a weak person. It would mean that you are strong enough to go on with your life even after going through so much. Denying that you have been hurt would stop you from doing anything about the pain. You would rather keep on suffering than accepting that you are vulnerable and seek help or work on yourself to start getting over the whole incident.
Accepting that you have been hurt by someone won’t make you a subject of ridicule. It would mean that you are persistent enough to hang in there and face whatever life has to throw your way. So firstly, identify that you have been hurt, why you have been hurt and who hurt you in such a way.
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2. Open up
Once you have accepted that you have been hurt the next step you have to take is to open up about it. It can be to your friends, family, colleagues or even professional therapist. No matter what way you are opting to open up about your pain. All that matters is that you don’t bottle up your emotions inside yourself. Another thing that comes with opening up is crying. Many people think that crying makes you weak. On the contrary, crying means that you are letting your emotions out because you want to forget everything and move forward. If you keep all the hurt bottled up, it would change you and make you a hard-hearted person so that no one can hurt you again. You can be a bit more conscious that you don’t get hurt again but it is necessary to let your emotions out at least once.
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3. Escape the past
Hanging on to the past has never done any good to anybody. It is understandable that you have been hurt but hanging on to your past will keep reminding you of it. You have to forget and move forward. But you reading this article already means that you want to change how you have been dealing with your pain and take a positive way out of it. Try to distract yourself doing those things that might divert your mind. You need to escape your past to live in the present and think about your future. Stop thinking about it again and again and concentrate on your present self.
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4. Don’t blame yourself
When you got hurt by someone you might have had mixed feelings towards the whole situation. At first you might have not believed that the person you trusted had hurt you, then you might have blamed them for doing this to you. Finally you might be feeling that you were in the wrong. You could have done things differently or not give that person enough power to hurt you, but these things could never have been in your hands. You couldn’t have known that they would end up hurting you and a person has little to no control over what their heart feels. So don’t blame yourself for what happened and try to stop thinking about the whole incident altogether.
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5. Don’t see yourself as the victim
It is true that you have been hurt, intentional or not. You have been wronged and you, most probably, weren’t at fault, but you should stop thinking yourself as the victim. If you keep hanging on to the fact that you have been wronged and keep thinking about it, you would never be able to get over the incident. Come out of the whole situation as an emotionally stronger person.
Each thing that happens in our life, all the ups and downs have something to teach us. When we are at a high in life, we must remember to stay rooted and not look down on anybody else and when we are at a low in our lives, we must remember that it is a part of life and we must take our lesson from whatever happened and why it happened. So see yourself as a strong person who has the ability to face such situations.
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6. Do joyful things
For forgetting all about the hurt that now resides in your heart and soul, you must try to do some things that you find joyful and divert your attention from thinking about the past over and over again. Remember what kind of person you used to be before all of this happened and what were the things that you stopped doing because you got so caught up dealing with the hurt. It can be a hobby you miss doing like painting or cooking or playing a sport. It can also be something that you have wanted to try for a very long time but weren’t able to. Do that now. Anything to divert your mind from that incident and that one person can be taken up at this point; something that brings joy to you your life.
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7. Connect with people
You only get hurt by people who have been close to you. The people you could’ve trusted your life with. Such immense hurt cannot be brought upon by someone you barely knew or didn’t feel deeply for. If that person was that important to you, you might have devoted all your free time to them only; adjusting your life in such a way that you may not have had time for your family and close friends. So, now is the time to do that. You might have done that sub-consciously but it was wrong to abandon your past relationships for that person. So try reconnecting with those people who used to bring you joy at one point of time and also try connecting with more and more new people. Don’t let one bad relationship define your future relationships.
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8. Don’t let the pain define you
You have been hurt and going through a very rough patch of your life. But don’t forget your true self. You can use this incident as a lesson to become a stronger person but don’t let this pain define your entire being. Don’t use this as an excuse to hurt others. If one person has hurt you, it doesn’t give you the right to hurt other people in the same manner. Remember how you felt when you were hurt and that’s exactly how the other person would feel, if not worse. Everyone has feelings but everyone is not the same.
One person hurting you does not mean that everyone would hurt you. Keep an open mind but a thin guard up so that you don’t have to go through all that pain again. Let this healing process and the stronger person that you have become along the way define your present self rather than the pain.
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9. Give it time
Nothing can happen in a blink of an eye. Getting over such immense pain takes time. So don’t try to rush through the healing process. Give it time and you might end up feeling better than you have ever felt in your entire life. Everyone has a different way of dealing with pain. So you might take a lot more time than someone you know and that’s okay. It is completely fine to take your time. This is your time to heal and discover yourself. You might trip over a new hobby or something you could never think of doing. Your heart will decide how much time it takes to completely get over it. All you can do on your part is trying your best to not let it define you.
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10. Respect yourself
Whatever happens in life, whether it is you getting emotionally hurt or any other incident that shakes you up to the core, you must not forget to respect yourself. You are the only person who would stay with yourself till the very end, so you must respect yourself. If you don’t treat yourself right, you can’t expect anyone else to do that for you. Don’t try to beg that person to take you back or start believing that it was entirely your fault that the person had no choice other than hurting you. No, don’t take it all upon yourself. Respect yourself enough to walk away when required and never look back, no matter how much it hurts. You deserve your own respect.
Hope this article could bring you some sort of light in the darkness. Heal and go on!