In this article we are going to talk about the What you should not do in a long-distance relationship? Even if separated by the vast land, tall mountains, mile of oceans and infinity true love will never even diminish a bit. It only grows stronger through heartfelt yearning for each other. To reach a stage in your relationship, full of respect, support and love for each other all the wile separated by time and space is without any doubt the truest form of love. Long distance relationships require a bit more seriousness and effort to maintain it, with the right person this will never be an issue.
What you should not do in a long-distance relationship?
When you fall in love, you never think about what is to come. Just like “Ross” from the F.R.I.E.N.D.S series fell for a girl from Poughkeepsie who was hours away from him, I am sure you might have too at least once. for some the physical distance will be too much to handle, but since you found this article, I am sure you are considering one at least. Are you already in a relationship with someone kilometers away from you? Do you have no clue how to maintain a healthy bond? Are you rethinking the relationship? Then please keep on reading to get a better idea on the don’ts of a long-distance relationship.
You must fully accept the fact that your relationship is very different from the conventional ones. So why must you compare yours with theirs? It is human tendency to look for greener pastures and your neighbor’s trunk but must you do it on your relationship too? Long distance relationship consumes a lot of energy, effort and time from both the partners. It requires devotion, commitment and dedication. constant comparisons with other couples will develop seeds of doubts in your relationship. You are separated by distance, but the self-doubts create an emotional separation from each other as well.
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2. Not keeping aside time for your partner
Time is precious, the trickling sand and passing time does not wait for anyone. You need to adjust yourself to fit into the time schedule. Make time for your partner, the internet helps us to connect with your partner in a matter of minutes via call, texts and video calls. Communication has always been the differentiating factor even in a normal relationship. Lack of communication has destroyed many couples. Don’t always wait around for your boyfriend or girlfriend to contact you first. Make sure that you have a heart to heart talk every day. Send pictures of your new hobbies, the burnt omelet you made and what not. End text messages with questions so that the conversations never end.
3. Disregarding important days in your relationship
When two love birds are away from each other there is more chance for the relationship to remain stagnant or stale. Celebrate even the little things of your relationship; the first day you met, the day you kissed, anniversaries and lot more. Even if you are apart by thousands of miles the relationship should stay strong by reminding yourself of the love for each other. Order gift for each other on all these occasions. You can even send personalized gifts for that special touch. When my boyfriend was staying away for few years overseas, we used to send each other our favorite songs sung by us. They are totally bad to hear, but the gesture itself is so precious and you get to laugh a lot between yourself. Celebrations and plans bring couples closer.
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4. Constantly Nitpicking
Stop doing this in a long-distance relationship. Yes, it is difficult for both of your schedules to sync. But that does not mean you have to constantly nitpick about it to each other. The nagging will wear both of you down. I have witnessed many regular couples, at their throat all the time and breaks off in less than six months. So, the length of a long-distance relationship can only be imagined. Rather than finding faults and throwing them at each other, have constructive discussions. For solutions for your dilemmas, consider the opinion of your partner as well.
5. Arousing Jealousy
Toxicity is harmful in a normal relationship, even more so for long distance relationship. Trying to make your partner jealous, by getting a reaction of them is especially risky when the misunderstandings does not get cleared completely. Truth be told, jealousy has killed more relationships than made them stronger. The physical barrier between you both does aggravate the situation more. It is very important to be honest and upfront with your partner. I know no one likes to explain themselves, but will it really cost you anything? Trust your partner and they will trust you back. Once you reach the highest level of honesty, you don’t even have to explain everything. They will know that you are trustworthy. Avoid spending too much time with friends you see every day, when you could use that time to contact your partner. Don’t leave room for doubts and jealousy in your relationship.
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When you are depending upon technology and time table to stay connected with your loved one, it is very plausible for the relationship to slip into routine. Routine bores people. A zoom call at 11:30PM every Wednesdays, at 10:00PM on all Fridays…what are you doing, planning a meeting? Don’t restrict your time together online to fixed time tables. Call each other often, if that is not possible you can still leave cute messages and quotes which they can open and reply at any time. Many couples also do this mistake, they talk about the same things on every call as if they are programmed that way. Change your conversations, your back ground, keep your relationship livelier and fun.
7. Letting others influence your thoughts
There will be many judgmental eyes always around you, it is up to you to be affected by them or not. For many people it is their entertainment to seek faults in a third persons relationship to forget about their own failing one. Why must you fall prey to that? Sometimes even you trusted friends and parents may question the strength of your relationship genuinely. You can try to pacify them; next time you call your partner overseas let your parents talk as well. build a strong bond together. the key is to not waver on your thoughts and love based on others’ opinions. Remember, people always have opinions and it is not your duty to answer all of them.
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8. Inadequate Effort
Love in a long-distance relationship can be tiresome at time, a bit lonely as well. But will you give up on it just as it got a little rocky? It takes effort from both of your side to push through all the obstacles laid before you. It can mean waking up a little early to match with their time, spending an extra hour past your bed time, more conversations, surprise visits to each other etc. Nothing in life comes easy, the effort you put into your relationship will surely blossom to wonderful love soon. If you truly believe in your love, then don’t hesitate to go an extra mile to maintain it.
9. Not solving fights soon
It is impossible not to have even tiny bursts of anger between couples. You just have to ensure that all anger and frustration have fully evaporated by the time you hit bed. Resolving fights, big or small becomes quite difficult when both of the involved are separated by land and sea. This does not give you an excuse to let it slide too. Have one on one conversations, don’t play the blame game. Instead, think logically as to why the issue occurred, what can be done to resolve and how to not cause the similar situation. Talking, especially video calling is way better than texts and audio messages to solve problems between couples. Take it upon yourself to never go to sleep without removing all the anger you have for each other.
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10. Pretending that everything’s fine
You can give the whole world to some and they will still kick it away. The same goes for love and relationship. when two lovers are separated by long distance there is a possibility that you guys may get attracted to others who are nearer to you. Pushing away all your doubts on your partner having an affair, your friends sending you pictures of them and someone else being intimate, them forgetting your important things can hurt you.
You could tell yourself that you are ok, over and over again but that does not make you fine. Holding in all the hurt and sadness that your partner gave you, just because you love them so much is destructive. Always remember that you come first. Forgiving once or twice is enough. If you don’t get the respect and the sincerity you deserve, by all means step out of that relationship. Never disregard your own mental health for someone who does not put in even half of the effort you put in.