In this article we are going to talk about the What you should know about your partner before getting Married? There is nothing as beautiful and exciting as it is to embark on your journey to forever with the love of your life. Taking where life takes you, through the rough and the strong winds in the company of your loved one still makes the voyage perfect.
What you should know about your partner before getting Married?
The magic of love may not last forever. it wears out slowly as the reality of life creeps in. Do you know that only 13 in a total of 1000 couples apply for a divorce in India? do you think it is because of love. No, most families in India hold on to even the final strand connecting them together for the sake of their prying neighbors and society only to live in misery forever. Often the final standing strand will be their kids. To avoid such a lifelong mistake, find out more about your partner. See below the important things you must know about them before getting married.
1. Unveiling the Face behind the Mask
There should be absolutely no facades between you and your partner. Before getting married make sure that both of you are comfortable enough to shed all the pseudo layers placed in front of your true self. The fire and the warmth of love may fade over time, so does your partner still love you? or are they just trying to make you happy because you mean a lot to them? are all the feelings authentic or put on as a mask. Understand your would-be better. By the time you get married, both of you should have shown their true character and must be comfortable in doing so. For marriage to be lasting, all the feelings between couples should be genuine.
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2. Compatibility Test
When you are blinded by love you overlook many differences between you and your partner. You only think about the similarities and how well you could get along with them. But is the level of comfortability the only factor to be considered in a marriage? No, for love to last forever we need synonymity in many elements of a person. Make sure you know their value system while growing up. How do your spouse treat others around them? Are they kind hearted? Love does not have any religion. It transcends across all such obstructions. But our society still find it hard to accept inter religious marriages. When making such huge decision make sure both you and your partner are aware of the different religions you follow and are ready to commit to it.
3. Ulterior Motives
Don’t fall into a marriage unless you really know your partner. There are many cases of men and women pretending love to marry into wealth. It is important to analyze how long you have known your partner. Did they approach you first? Are they being sincere towards you? Are they always trying to please you? The deeper you look into your relationship and partner you can identify if they are being phony. No one fake sincerity for a long time. When you notice something off about your partner look into it. Better safe than sorry. Something as beautiful and pure as Love should not be forged.
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4. Are you on same page on financial matters?
People say never ask a person how much they make. But it is a different case when you talk about married couples. Couples split bills, pay rent together, buy house or may have to raise children together. Every person has a dream life style that they some times can never compromise on. before getting married ask yourself, would you be comfortable living with the combined income levels of both of you. It has to be kept in mind that expenses will shoot up by many times more after a marriage.
Marriage itself is very costly affair. Couples have to financially support each other in addition to being an emotional backbone to each other. Learn about the spending habits of your partner. Are they too lavish? Or a cheap skate? Are you aware of any debts they have? Would you be willing to pay it off with him? Don’t shy away from asking such questions. If two people are at ease and confident in discussing this topic then they are meant to be.
5. Family Matters
Family history of a person says so much about them and their character. Often the kind of family your parents raised you in is repeated again when you enter in a nesting stage and parenthood. For a happy marriage there should be a caring and love with the families as well. Have you ever heard your partner mention anything about family fights? Is there a standing land dispute within their family? Happiness breeds more happiness.
Do you now that there were over 7,100 deaths in India in 2019 alone due to dowry related issues within families? If you a woman then you definitely should state it clear that you are not looking for a man who is depending upon the amount of wealth you bring in. Even if he hates the practice of dowry, is his family on the same page as well? Develop an understanding as well as loving bond with your partners family well before marriage.
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6. History of Crime
A person can change for the good over the years, but taking a precaution is not a bad thing. It is quite natural for anyone to hide their dark past. You would never want your partner to know the dirty or dangerous things you might have done in the past. This information is still very important point to be considered when entering in a marital life together. Being open about the good and the bad is the key to a happy and long marriage.
7. Behavioral Addictions
Spending a lot of time with your boy friend or girlfriend will get you an idea of any type of addictions they have. This can cause severe damage to your relationship. The addiction can range from social media usage, eating disorders to alcohol, drug abuse and even sex and porn addiction. You have to note that none of these start out as extreme cravings. It can take a while for you recognize your partners hobby or fun to turn into addiction. These behavioral addictions may turn your partner violent, manipulative, obsessive etcetera. You must ask yourself if you are ready to handle all of that and be with him/ her providing a helping hand because the journey towards de addiction is hard for everyone around the patient.
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8. Health conditions
“I will love you forever, in sickness and health”, This is by far the most common vow taken by all the young married couples. Yet how many of them actually will stick with their ailing partners is a small figure. Health of your spouse is extremely important, as they are someone you dreamed of having a happily ever after with. Make sure there is full disclosure between both the parties when it comes to health. Knowing the medical history of family members can help.
9. Are you on two diverging roads?
Opposites attract. Yes, that is true. We often gravitate towards people who have what we find lacking in ourself. There are many things that we find difficult to do and whenever we someone doing just that we feel in awe of them. This is how attraction works between people. But does love and a lasting relationship work the same. Definitely No. The more the contrasts the greater the difficulty in maintaining the relationship in the long run. Have an open conversation with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Ask them where they want to be financially, career wise and geographically they see themselves in next five or ten years.
There are many cases were couples go for divorce due to fights over where to settle down. Maybe your partner would like to set their roots overseas while you can’t move away from your friends and family. The work schedules and shifts may not align sometimes, causing you to see your partner fewer and fewer. As times goes there will be a rift in the relationship and even trust issues. For a healthy marriage it is therefore always best to have many common grounds between the partners, or your love must be strong to withstand all of the stress that comes with the contrast.
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10. Children are not child’s play
Children are cute and lovely to play with. But that does not mean everyone loves them. Within a year of your marriage or maybe even less, be prepared to get asked on when you will be having your own. Couples often don’t discuss this before marriage. There are times when you are ready to have a child but your partner is not still prepared for it. having a child is a huge deal. It requires a lot of mental and financial strength. While you want a huge family maybe your husband or wife would want a small loving family. There are also chances that they do not want a kid at all.
It is better to discuss all these beforehand than living in misery. having a kid when both you and your spouse is not ready can also affect your child and their growth as well. A child needs a loving family. Your inability to have a one – on – one conversation on babies should not be the source of unhappiness of your child as they grow up.
By: Kavya Shanu K
